If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
