i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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