After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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