You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
