Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
