It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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