And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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