If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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