Got a toothbrush?
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My dick has a subreddit
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
PANTIES FOUND
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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