She's never allowed to turn 21 again
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
