is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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