he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
