Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
