I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just tell him i said nine months
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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