shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize