I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
