We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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