just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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