Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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