When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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