He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize