I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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