just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
