Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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