I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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