id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
