Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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