i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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