Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
