are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
