And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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