Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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