Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
