idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
