Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
