It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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