your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
