i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
