yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
