I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
