Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
