biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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