There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
