I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
