The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
