he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
