Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you would pick up someone in the library
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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