I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
