tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
