i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
