U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's never too late to be topless.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
