I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize