ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
