Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
