well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
