So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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