I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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