Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
