Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
