I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
