There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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