Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i barfeds in our rink
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
