A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
