Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Terrible idea I love it
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
