even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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