the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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