im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
