Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
