i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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